When you grow up in a house where the silence has never been that loud. Where people were often quiet, yet they talked as if a danger was chasing each and every one of you. They were often quiet, but their voices carried a sense of urgency, as if a danger was chasing each and every one of you. Instead of talking with a gentle tone, shouts were heard everywhere. Even asking a simple question such as "What is the meal today?" or "Where are you going?" was met with a raised voice.
You have lived for years that when you step out of the door, you are frightened that people might also talk to you with a roaring voice. You don’t know any different. You think that is how the world should be. You think everyone you meet lives with the same chaos, surrounded by the same volume of noise.
People shouting or arguing served as your alarm in the morning, eating breakfast with people shading you, going to school with people scolding you to do better, and going home with loud voices, asking what should be the meal for tonight. Even sleeping with your family arguing. It’s a never-ending cycle that you must bear in your everyday life.
"Why are you always frightened when people shout at you, even if it’s a joke? Or those people who talked as if they were shouting?" They don’t know. They don’t understand the constant fear of being shouted at. They don’t know how it makes your heart race, your body tremble, and makes you dizzy.
Everywhere you go, you still hear their voices. You still hear them shouting and arguing. You are always in a constant battle with your mind. Their thunderous voices became part of you, engraved in your soul. You think the whole world is a chorus of screams because that’s what you’ve ever known growing up.
But even in the midst of the constant storm of sound, there were still whispers of hope. A kind teacher who spoke softly, a friend who listened with a gentle heart, a stranger who offered a smile without a word. These moments, like fragile blossoms in a harsh landscape, proved that the world wasn't entirely defined by the roar. They can show that kindness and gentleness can still exist, even in the face of overwhelming noise.
So, I hope that one day you find someone that can show you that not everyone talks with a thunderous voice. Someone who talks to you with a gentle and soft voice. Someone who’s going to talk to you in a gentle manner, no matter how serious the situation is.
You must not let the environment you grew up define you. Always remember that the scars that were implanted in you were not your flaws but a sign of your strength. Growing up with those kinds of people wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault. You are just a victim.
None of those things were your fault.
