I became the person I promised myself I’ll never be.
Navigating through life changed me in various situations. I became the person I promised myself I'll never be. The journey of self-discovery is filled with twists and turns, leading me to a place where I see shades of the person I promised not to be.
When I was a kid, I promised myself that I would never be like those rebellious teenagers who often answer back to their parents or to elders, who often disobey their parents and are disrespectful to them yet as I became a teenager, I slowly understand those rebellious teenagers because I became like them. I learned how to answer back my parents, and I often disobey them now. I understand those teenagers now as I found out that they were not doing those things because they wanted to. They just wanted to voice their feelings out, yet they often get invalidated by the elders. Nevertheless, I don't justify my actions.
As a child, I made a solemn vow to myself to always strive for academic excellence, to be a shining example of dedication and hard work. I promised never to falter in my pursuit of knowledge and to always give my best in every academic endeavor. However, as life unfolded and presented its challenges, I found myself facing moments of academic struggle and setbacks. The weight of expectations and the demands of reality began to take their toll, causing me to stumble and fall short of the high standards I had set for myself.
I once made a promise to myself to always be a cheerful and smiley person, radiating positivity and warmth to those around me. However, as the weight of life's challenges grew heavier, I found it increasingly difficult to uphold that promise. The genuine smiles that once came effortlessly were gradually replaced by a poker face, concealing the inner battles and emotions I grapple with. Despite my initial commitment, I now often find myself wearing a stoic expression, hiding behind a mask of composure. The journey from promising perpetual cheerfulness to embracing a poker face has been a poignant reminder of the ever-changing nature of self-expression and the resilience required to navigate life's twists and turns.
Yet, I always yearn that one day I will find the courage to embrace the changes in me and rediscover the genuine joy and warmth that once defined my essence. I hold onto the hope that authenticity and resilience will guide me towards a place of inner peace and genuine smiles once more.
