I had a hard time expressing my emotions and feelings. Whenever I try to talk or express myself, my mind keeps on telling me that I’ll only burden them.
"Don’t tell them your feelings. You will only burden them."
"They don’t care about your feelings, so stop telling them. You look like an attention seeker."
"Seriously? Their problems weigh more than yours."
Those thoughts keep on running inside my head, killing all of my courage to open up to other people.
I forgot how to express my emotions and feelings, especially my sadness to the point that I can’t no longer cry or shed tears whenever I’m sad or something devastating happens.
I completely forgot the art of expressing myself, either by crying or sharing it with a confidante.
So, whenever I hear or someone tells me kind words or words that cheer me up without me sharing or asking, I can’t help but cry.
It’s like a trigger to me. It always makes me end up crying. I feel so vulnerable whenever people tell me words or advices. It can always melt my heart
The kindness of others unexpectedly moves me to tears. It’s a strange paradox, given how difficult I find it to express my own emotions. I’m plagued by self-doubt: "Don’t burden them," "They don’t care," "Your problems are insignificant." These thoughts prevent me from opening up, even to the point where I can no longer cry when I’m sad. But the simple act of someone offering kind words melts my defenses and releases a flood of emotion. It’s a reminder that my heart is still open, even if I’ve forgotten how to show it.
Just a few days ago, a friend offered a simple "Rooting for youuuuu :)" after a particularly stressful day. It was an offhand comment, nothing extraordinary. Yet, I found myself unable to speak, tears welling up uncontrollably. It wasn’t just the words themselves; it was the unspoken understanding, the recognition of my struggle, that broke through my defenses. It was a powerful reminder of the human connection I’ve been so desperately trying to avoid.
