Will I be recognized if I am not an academic achiever?
Will people know who I am without my academic accomplishments? Will they recognize me in a crowd of students if I am not in the top section? Will I earn their respect if I am not part of the group that excels?
I doubt people will recognize me. Perhaps no one would even want to befriend me. They may respect me less if I don’t keep up with my studies. I feel like no one would remember my name.
This feeling comes from my family as well. They only seem to notice me when report cards are approaching. They praise and talk to me only when my grades are good.
I recall a time when my grades dropped. During that period, no one smiled or genuinely engaged with me. Instead of receiving support from the people who should have been cheering me on, I faced harsh criticism. They suggested that I was busy flirting or being influenced by my friends when, in reality, I wasn’t distracted by anything like that; my friends were achievers, too. I was simply struggling.
I have always wondered if people will still recognize me if I’m no longer a student leader or an achiever. Will they still be proud of me if I don't become the person they expect me to be? Will they still love me if I fail this time?
I doubt people will recognize me without my grades attached to my name. Conversations and smiles seem to come easily when I’m at the top.
The conditional nature of the attention I receive has taken a toll on my self-esteem. Knowing that smiles and conversations are contingent upon my academic success has created a deep insecurity within me. I find myself constantly striving for perfection, fearing the moment when my grades dip and the attention they give me disappears. This constant pressure to perform is exhausting, leaving me feeling drained and uncertain of my worth.
Still, I genuinely hope that one day, people will recognize me for who I am—not just as an academic achiever.
